Saturday, September 25, 2010

Ninth Post - Hope

Does hope really make a difference? My hope or yours? Can I pour my hope over your hope and help your hope to grow? Does hope simply require a fertilizer of caring to help it sprout? I hope so!!!!!
According to "research" (Miller, Duncan, and Hubble) instillation of hope accounts for 15 percentage points towards "success" in counselling. {For those that care to know: 40% is extratherapeutic factors, 30% is the therapeutic relationship, 15% is skills and techniques, and that leaves the 15% called hope}.
Whenever I enter into a new relationship with a young person who has already given up on EVERYTHING! I lose part of my heart. That's probably a really bad way to state it. As a therapist, I'm supposed to keep my heart intact, however, lately I've been moved to tears by the heartbreaking stories of several of the young people that I've begun to work with. What are we doing as a society that the barely teens are ready to, or already have, pretty much thrown in the towel? I marvel  that they are even at school. That they are still alive. They they have the energy to walk down the hall to my office.
Recently I asked a young person if they had any hope at all.  A shrug - a very familiar teenage shrug,  and a mumble were the reply. But I coaxed about this much? 2 cm? How about this much? 1 cm?  How about this much? 1/2 cm....that got a mumbled maybe. Success! So, how about  I take my hope and add it to yours and see if we can grow some more. The response was slight, but enough to grab it and hold it dear.
So, what will make the difference this time? My hope is that I can work long enough with these emerging and young teens to help them understand that they matter. That at their core, at their SELF, they can BE and take a step or 1/2 step toward healing.
This was a discouraging week. It was a week of revelations of pain and hurt that ones so young should absolutely not have to experience. Yet, in our imperfect world, (call it sin, if you like), it exists. My job, as I see it - in it's simplest response - is to get my clients "hooked on hope". Maybe nothing will change today or tomorrow, but bit by bit, Better is Possible.

Will you add your hope to mine?


  1. You have my hope to add to yours . . . my tears to add to yours . . . my love to add to yours

  2. Thanks Maureen. That means a lot!

  3. I most certainly will. This world needs a lot of hope. This world needs a lot more people to cry for it so it is washed clean of sin.
    This world needs to change the adults' view that the world is designed for the adult. Adults had a childhood and then, as an adult, it is their turn to pass on the torch and do nice things for the children behind them. We are everyones' role models or should be.Your work sounds interesting. Don't give up hope. :)