It's true. I'm a magazine-aholic! I don't remember when I first stepped out of denial, perhaps in my teens, but here I am in my fifties still struggling to pass by the display of glossies without putting a little 'something' into my cart. It started with Soap Opera digest. It was my little secret. Then Seventeen, ah the pictures, how they called out to me – "pick me, pick me....take me home, no one needs to know".
I blame genetics. My Omie had her own stash: Family Circle; TV Guide; and under the guise of spirituality, Moments with God. Some stayed hidden discreetly beside her red velvet couch and some were defiantly left out in the open. My mother has her morphed version of the addiction. She buys up to five "Love Inspired" novels per month. Her collection has spread to the tops of her kitchen cupboards.
Recently I felt the need to surrender – to give up my need for the 'zine! I cancelled subscriptions to House and Home, Reader's Digest, Country Home, Shape, Allure, Canadian Gardening, the list goes on. I couldn't go cold turkey; I kept More, Style at Home, and Best Health. On occasion I guiltily place an O mag in my cart amongst my groceries, slyly bringing it home, hoping Jim is too busy to notice.
When I realized that I didn't have the strength to overcome this "habit", I opted for harm reduction. Online magazines…..sent directly to my inbox. Who, but me, would know? Then unwittingly my husband enabled me further by gifting me with an eReader……..from the laptop to the Kobo. Is it a book or a magazine? Another little secret.
There is no happy ending. I have not overcome my magazineism. When pressed I claim I am merely relapsing, it's all part of my recovery. The consequences are costly, but not dire enough for me to stop. The magazines pile up, I can't discard them, what if I want to look at them again. The initial thrill, the adrenaline rush complete with euphoric dreaming, comes crashing down eventually leaving only the remains of wrinkled, used paper. The gloss so quickly disappears.
Christmas comes with a whole new challenge. The recipes, the decorations, the 'to do list of not gaining weight during the holidays', they grip my imagination, I must have them. Chatelaine, like a dealer sends me a free Christmas copy with the price slashed almost to nothing for a year's subscription. To entice me further, it will come with a free stylish watch. How do I resist? Why would I resist? Who am I harming? It's just a little escape now and then. Maybe I'll quit in 2011. But for now, I see an article on NEW FICTION by Steve Martin calling me.
What are your favourite magazines? Could you let them go?
|Magazine, or art?|
|The beginning of the habit.|