Monday, April 11, 2011

Fifty Fourth Post - Incongruence

Incongruence: not congruent, not balanced, not grounded.

According to the Satir Family Therapy Model  there are five coping stances. They are thought to be universal and consist of: placating, blaming, irrelevance, super reasonable, and congruence. The goal, the work, is to move towards and ultimately have a congruent life experience (most of the time). 

I'm certain there are myriads of metaphors for congruence. When crisis touches my sphere, I am often able to maintain my balance. My mind, heart, and body remain grounded. However, when too many storms hit in rapid succession my alignment shifts, and I default to old patterns of coping. I can shift fairly quickly through all four coping stances; what can I say, I'm a veteran multi-tasker! (sarcasm)

As I continue to grow into my wisdom, it is satisfying to sense, to notice, and be mindful that  my being; my  mind, heart, and body  are grounded. Ah, that sweet spot of peace, even in the midst of the storm! There is room for growth, but I am committed to a life that moves in the direction of positive change. How about you?

Happy I Day!


  1. Hello again, friend! I like what you had to say about incongruence. The first time I ever heard the word congruent was in Algebra I way back in 1948 when I was a sophomore in high school. I like the way it sounds when one says it. It makes a picture in my mind of two lives flowing along together, striving to be harmonious, touching and floating apart and then back together again.
    Looking forward to more visits together. Ruby

  2. Hi! I just discovered your blog through the Challenge, and I've really enjoyed catching up with it. Great post, and great to meet you! :)

  3. Great post, and I moving toward the positive!

  4. This is an interesting presentation of something I've not thought much about. I think I tend to be pretty congruent most of the time. I like to achieve a sense of balance in my own life and in the lives of those around me. Congruence allows for greater inner peace and the ability to make the best life decisions.
    Good post to generate thinking.

    Tossing It Out
    Twitter hashtag: #atozchallenge

  5. Great post. As I age, I'm definitely moving towards being more grounded. I think!

    Ellie Garratt

  6. I think positive change is good.

  7. I'm trying to be more positive in my life, but there are times when my old habits come back to bite me in the posterior. Right now in my life is not one of those times, thankfully.

    Pleasure to meet you via the A-Z Challenge!

  8. Happy Day!