Saturday, September 24, 2011

101st Post - Senseless

All of a sudden busy collided with zero motivation and my blog posts have been sorely neglected. It's not just about work starting up again, or son2's wedding next week. I am tired, weary, listless. Not sure why, just am. We did have a bit of an incident that I'm feeling a need to process. It's not pretty, so be forewarned....Senseless!

Last Friday night (September 16th) we drove up to Vernon for our last visit before Son2's wedding. Son1 decided at the last minute to come with us. Like!

As parents know when a child of any age is trapped in a car with you, conversation can be brisk, intense, and undoubtedly fun. If you can pry their cellphone/ipad/ipod's away from them, they may even pay attention to you. The four hour drive was non eventful and relaxed. When not talking we listened to Left Neglected via audio book. It was an enjoyable drive.

When we finally got to  Vernon, Son1 headed out to meet up with a new girl. Perhaps the beginning of a new relationship. It was good to see Son happy. Us parents did some tidying of our 'place' and then headed to bed looking forward to waking up in the briskness of a pre-autumn Okanagan morning. Ah, the plans of men/women.

It was around 3am when I heard some stirring outside our bedroom door. My reverend snored away while I got up to explore. Curiosity turned to shock and fear when I encountered Son1 bleeding profusely from his face, his head beginning to swell. He'd been beaten and needed to get to emerg quickly. The reverend was abruptly stirred from his sleep, ordered to dress and off we went to the hospital. 

Fear escalated as we headed up our driveway and found a pickup truck half way blocking our exit. As my rev navigated our way out, I was preparing to leave the car to confront the young man who had inflicted a beating on our son. I had an overwhelming urge to tell this boy to learn to 'use his words!' I am after all a masterful school counsellor. Both the rev and son told me, not too nicely to STAY IN THE CAR. Fine then!

Off we continued to the hospital, me calling 911 on the way. We reported the truck, the boy/young man and the incident. 

What happened? 
The short version (and I am restricted in what I write due to continued investigation) is that when the girl was dropping my son back home after their date, an ex boyfriend of the girl showed up. He allegedly tracked her via the GPS on her cellphone. This young man eventually opened the passenger door where my son was sitting and began pummeling him. 

After two hospital visits, it was determined that my beautiful son had a broken nose, stitches on his nose, and a mild concussion. One of his earrings had been ripped out. By the end of day two, both eyes were black with shades of purple blue and the white of one eye was now red. 

I can not adequately express my outrage. My son is not a fighter. He wasn't in his teens and he isn't now in his late twenties. He did nothing to provoke this young man. As a counsellor I am constantly reminded that there are two sides to every story. In this case my beautiful boy was caught in the 'in between' of the story of two other individuals. I am hopeful that as the police do their work, more background and details will come to light. Perhaps not. Maybe this was a case of a jealous ex boyfriend, who needs some serious help in dealing with his rage. 

My sons wounds are slowly healing. He will most likely still have some bruising at his brother's wedding next weekend. Thankfully the wedding photographer is well skilled in photo shop. The concussion will take longer than the bruises to heal. The trauma of being beat; for my son, his siblings, his parents, grandmother, friends is taking longer to process. How senseless, how sad. 

I must say that no mother could be prouder of how my son has handled this incident.  He has modelled maturity, wisdom and calm. While many would be vindictive, and seek  violent retaliations, he has been the voice of reason. Violence begets violence and I am so proud that he has chosen to go the justice route. It is my hope and prayer that the police and 'system' do their job and justice is served. 

As for me, I have a flower girl dress to finish sewing, hair that needs colouring and cutting, eyebrows that need waxing. We have a rehearsal dinner to plan/host, a speech to write for the reception. All of those are a piece of cake compared to my real fear. I'll fill you in on that next post!

Enjoy your weekend, hug your love ones and stay safe.

Sunday, September 11, 2011


Let the bells ring, 
   Let the sparklers sparkle, 
      Bang the pots and pans...


I've noticed from more experienced and seasoned bloggers that this is the post where I get to write one hundred things about me. Without interruptions. With no judgement. Are you ready? Here we go:


  1. was born in Vancouver BC
  2. am Canadian
  3. am the second of four children
  4. have three brothers and zero sisters
  5. attended two different elementary schools because my parents built a new house and we had to move across Vancouver
  6. never really felt at home at my 2nd school
  7. lived beside my grandma Omie until we moved to our new big house when I was in Grade four
  8. thankfully could still walk to Omie's house after we moved.
  9. had many celebrations and fun times with my cousins, aunts, and uncles while growing up.
  10. see less of my cousins now but think of them often
  11. went to and graduated from Sir Winston Churchill Secondary School in Vancouver
  12. attended North American Bible School for four months in 1974
  13. graduated from UBC with  a BEd (music major) in 1979
  14. got my first teaching job in Langley (SD#35) in September 1979 
  15. taught mostly music; Kindergarten to Grade 7, including band and choir
  16. married the boy that I said I would marry the first time I saw him. I was fourteen at the time; when I saw him, not when I married him
  17. had 400 guests at my first wedding. 
  18. married Jim on July 29, 1977 and he was killed on a motorcycle in April 30, 1978 
  19. gained a lot of weight in Grade 11
  20. lost a lot of weight when I started dating Jim then gained a lot of weight after he died
  21. was probably bulimic before there was a bulimia
  22. have always loved teaching
  23. am extremely shy and it takes a lot of energy to be in a group
  24. talk a lot and people have trouble believing I'm an introvert
  25. met Randy when playing at a church fundraiser
  26. married Randy on May 24, 1980 which was ten weeks after our first date
  27. gave birth to Timothy John in 1982
  28. gave birth to Landon Randall Ray in 1985
  29. gave birth to Courtney Lynn in 1987
  30. love my children fiercely and passionately
  31. used to do a lot of music with our family; family of origin as well as with my kids and Randy
  32. play piano/performed piano/taught piano
  33. play the flute at an intermediate level
  34. am an excellent sight reader, and consequently accompanied many musicians 
  35. was involved in a great deal of music in church as well as not in church

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Ninety Ninth Post - Seven

July is over. 
    August has passed. 
  Oh my! 
      School starts again on Tuesday. 
       Just what did I do this summer?

On a much needed light and breezy note, I've decided to join (thanks for the link, Betty), Joanna @ The Fifty Factor in the end of Summer/Winter meme. 

Summer Off Of the Top of My Head

Here are my Seven Off-The-Top-Of-My-Head List of Summer Happenings...

  1. The shed at our Coldstream house has been culled. Kudos to my reverend and my step son who worked like mad men getting things sorted and ready for the dump, mission, recycling depot... 
  2. The unfinished basement/storage dump in the basement of our Coldstream house has been sorted and reorganized thanks to me! To quote the Bernstein Bears, "I can actually see the floor!"
  3. As mentioned in a previous post, I traveled to a variety of beautiful BC destinations. I live in an amazingly beautiful province.
  4. Wedding plans are coming along nicely for my middle's October 1st wedding. Most importantly I have my dress and my shoes. Woohoo!
  5. We had some delightful one on one time with three of our grandchildren. What a treat. What lovely memories.
  6. I wore my bathing suit once. It was not my finest moment.
  7. My first tomato plant has survived the summer, and watching the tomatoes ripen has been a source of much joy.
We're winding down our week in the Okanagan feeling good that the upstairs of our house is clean and ready for the Middle and his soon-to-be new Bride to live in after their wedding. We have almost restored out basement suite; and we call it suite loosely - no stove, laundry sink only, mini fridge, random floor coverings, to a comfortable level for our quick visits back and forth from the coast.