All of a sudden busy collided with zero motivation and my blog posts have been sorely neglected. It's not just about work starting up again, or son2's wedding next week. I am tired, weary, listless. Not sure why, just am. We did have a bit of an incident that I'm feeling a need to process. It's not pretty, so be forewarned....Senseless!
Last Friday night (September 16th) we drove up to Vernon for our last visit before Son2's wedding. Son1 decided at the last minute to come with us. Like!
As parents know when a child of any age is trapped in a car with you, conversation can be brisk, intense, and undoubtedly fun. If you can pry their cellphone/ipad/ipod's away from them, they may even pay attention to you. The four hour drive was non eventful and relaxed. When not talking we listened to Left Neglected via audio book. It was an enjoyable drive.
When we finally got to Vernon, Son1 headed out to meet up with a new girl. Perhaps the beginning of a new relationship. It was good to see Son happy. Us parents did some tidying of our 'place' and then headed to bed looking forward to waking up in the briskness of a pre-autumn Okanagan morning. Ah, the plans of men/women.
It was around 3am when I heard some stirring outside our bedroom door. My reverend snored away while I got up to explore. Curiosity turned to shock and fear when I encountered Son1 bleeding profusely from his face, his head beginning to swell. He'd been beaten and needed to get to emerg quickly. The reverend was abruptly stirred from his sleep, ordered to dress and off we went to the hospital.
Fear escalated as we headed up our driveway and found a pickup truck half way blocking our exit. As my rev navigated our way out, I was preparing to leave the car to confront the young man who had inflicted a beating on our son. I had an overwhelming urge to tell this boy to learn to 'use his words!' I am after all a masterful school counsellor. Both the rev and son told me, not too nicely to STAY IN THE CAR. Fine then!
Off we continued to the hospital, me calling 911 on the way. We reported the truck, the boy/young man and the incident.
The short version (and I am restricted in what I write due to continued investigation) is that when the girl was dropping my son back home after their date, an ex boyfriend of the girl showed up. He allegedly tracked her via the GPS on her cellphone. This young man eventually opened the passenger door where my son was sitting and began pummeling him.
After two hospital visits, it was determined that my beautiful son had a broken nose, stitches on his nose, and a mild concussion. One of his earrings had been ripped out. By the end of day two, both eyes were black with shades of purple blue and the white of one eye was now red.
I can not adequately express my outrage. My son is not a fighter. He wasn't in his teens and he isn't now in his late twenties. He did nothing to provoke this young man. As a counsellor I am constantly reminded that there are two sides to every story. In this case my beautiful boy was caught in the 'in between' of the story of two other individuals. I am hopeful that as the police do their work, more background and details will come to light. Perhaps not. Maybe this was a case of a jealous ex boyfriend, who needs some serious help in dealing with his rage.
My sons wounds are slowly healing. He will most likely still have some bruising at his brother's wedding next weekend. Thankfully the wedding photographer is well skilled in photo shop. The concussion will take longer than the bruises to heal. The trauma of being beat; for my son, his siblings, his parents, grandmother, friends is taking longer to process. How senseless, how sad.
I must say that no mother could be prouder of how my son has handled this incident. He has modelled maturity, wisdom and calm. While many would be vindictive, and seek violent retaliations, he has been the voice of reason. Violence begets violence and I am so proud that he has chosen to go the justice route. It is my hope and prayer that the police and 'system' do their job and justice is served.
As for me, I have a flower girl dress to finish sewing, hair that needs colouring and cutting, eyebrows that need waxing. We have a rehearsal dinner to plan/host, a speech to write for the reception. All of those are a piece of cake compared to my real fear. I'll fill you in on that next post!
Enjoy your weekend, hug your love ones and stay safe.